Perfection is a Mystery

I SEE THE BAD.

2005-03-18T05:11:12Z

please add my new journal. which i actually intend to write it.
it is: jevoisdemal

<3 paulina.

yeah it was short.

2005-03-10T07:05:02Z

everything that happens is supposed to be
its all predetermined
you cant change your destiny
i guess ill just keep going
maybe some day
ill get to where im going.

hard to yell with a WHAT SHEENA?? in yo' mouth.

2005-03-09T05:43:42Z

here's a fun fact kids:
i have a boyfriend and i like him lotz.

:) thnx for listening amigos

<3paulina.

i'll never be the same without you.

2005-02-24T05:56:02Z

seasons may change. winter to spring. but i love you, until the end of time.

come what may.

this is the first day of my life.

2005-02-15T00:42:27Z

utopian society: noun; 1. a place where the one who loves you doesn't have to keep it a secret to the rest of the world. 2. a society where you are not forced to be miles away from people/a person you care about.

</3

i made this one for willa.

2005-02-13T08:00:40Z

i ordered my food with a 2 digit number.
bribed my dad to take a detour on the way home.
i'd like to hurry up because its almost time.
its almost tommorow
almost only days away
almost the morning
its almost time to stop keeping track

my foot is tapping on the floor mat of my car
teeth chattering when the heats on full blast
my arms are shaking
my heart is beating
and your hand is waving.
goodbye.
i'd say its time to start going a different way.

i like to read the roadsigns backwards
because it really makes no difference to me
everywhere is just another place to try and forget
1,000 somewheres are homes to thousands of people
but i cannot say
that i am one of them

its almost the morning
i'd say its almost time to stop keeping track

i'm wide awake at the resting spot
off the freeway of middle of no-where
if i listen hard and dont move at all
i can hear the sherrifs radio playing the songs
i dont ever want to hear again.
it's time for me to start sleeping
its time to start going another way

and when morning comes
i can start all over
i'll scower the country for a home
i'll read the signs backwards
and absorb more caffiene in a day
than one should in a lifetime.
oh lord knows i will never go another way.
and that is intentionall.

oh golly i love my brain at 12:02 on a saturday. <3

if you felt un-informed

2005-02-07T06:20:20Z

well hello everyone.
ive been posting this only every so often. about weekly. i think its been longer since my actual REAL post though. i've become much more of a myspace person, no offense lj. but im aware alot of my friends, expecially archer people dont have myspace and i wanna make sure all my d!e hard fans dont miss anything (that was a joke).
schools alright. the new semester has started. well it does on tuesday (no school monday). i got an A in spanish. an A in science. a C in math. a A in english. and a B in history. oh and a C in p.e. (p.e. is a hard class at pali, mmkay??!) so i was pretty proud.
i was also dissapointed because if i raised my math and p.e. grades earlier i could have been rewarded with concert tickets for me and a friend OR disneyland tickets/transport for me and a friend... but my parents wouldnt adjust their deal.
whatever, life goes on.
the boy i liked. likes another gurl, one of my friends told me. but he told me in a very nice way and is loking for some other cool guys for me to maybe chill with. i actually dont feel a big urge for a bf, maybe cause like more than 80% of the people i know are single. and thats usually how it is.
so surprisingly, im not sitting underneath my desk writing nice little free-form poems about claudio. oops, said his name. not like anyone in the english speaking world didnt know who i was talkin bouts.
hmm so yeah. maybe ill liek someone else soon..
maybe ill like someone else a little later.
you know how it is.
i was grounded this weekend for being argumentative with jensen in the car. but he was grounded too for the same thing, just with me. whatever, it was nice to catch up on sleep, fix my myspace, eat more than i had in the past month, and not get any phone calls. so dont say "sorry yo uwere grounded" (not like you were considering it lol) cuase it wasnt bad at all.
tommorow i plan on hanging out with nat. we're probly gonna go to venice boardwalk or maybe somewhere around there also. im glad to hangout with her just me and her, other people are awesome too but me and nat are really close expecially latley and i think it'll be nice.
the back of my hair is now long enough to spike without it falling down five minutes later, definitly something less to wory about.
so i guess im going to continue working for goals ive set for myself. staying close with friends, practicing bass (i actually have been! like every other day!! progres!), getting along with my family, getting good grades, and being less self concious.
and i think my friends in, and some out of school are being great support.
the super bowl was today... i watched most of it. basically for the commericals because theyre the best of the best and it costs them 80,000 dollars per three seconds of commercial.
yeah
so laters skaters
or skater daters
or skater hatas
whatever you are, adios.

<3 paulina <3333

comment if you feel like it.
i despise not getting comments
but its aiiight cause i just liked venting.
i dont have a handwritten journal anymore
for confidenciality reasons.
depending on who you are... but me and you should chill sometime soon.
i probly miss you alot.

xoxoxooxox. truth. beauty. freedom. love

lovrsdontgiveup @ 2005-01-26T16:50:00

2005-01-27T01:02:42Z

oh! but i am SO GOOD at loving you.

lovrsdontgiveup @ 2005-01-25T18:14:00

2005-01-26T02:25:59Z

my tounge's the only muscle in my body
that works harder than my heart.
and this is all from watching tv.
and from speeding up my breathing.

<3
paulina never seems to give up
or let go
or move on
whatsoever
and i like it this way

lovrsdontgiveup @ 2005-01-13T17:58:00

2005-01-14T02:12:11Z

sexy

strung out

serious

<3 paulina

lovrsdontgiveup @ 2005-01-12T18:00:00

2005-01-13T02:14:13Z

and from here, they can't see me stare.

i hope your balcony falls over into a pool and u drown

2005-01-12T01:06:16Z

I'm reading your note over again

There's not a word that I comprehend

except when you signed it

"I'll love you always and forever"

Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,

and sit alone and wonder how you're making out (with her)

I'm missing your laugh, how did it break?

And when did your eyes begin to look fake?

I hope you're as happy as your pretending

(because i know im not)

lovrsdontgiveup @ 2005-01-01T16:36:00

2005-01-02T00:35:21Z

so this is the new year..
(i don't feel any different)

and wow, i am a brand brand new kid.

lovrsdontgiveup @ 2005-01-01T16:36:00

2005-01-02T00:34:54Z

so this is the new year..
(i don't feel any different)

and wow, i am a brand brand in new kid.

my new shirt says

2004-12-31T04:27:29Z

it happens
in an instant
i'll be sitting or standing
or walking
or talking.
I'll be thinking about something,
anything,
nothing at all.
But then,
there you will be
Racing through
my mind,
making my heart face.
The very thought of you,
in an instant,
makes me glow.

<3

riders on the storm

2004-12-30T19:19:42Z

01. I miss somone right now.
02. I watch more tv than I used to.
03. I love olives.
04. I love sleeping.
05. I own lots of books.
06. I wear glasses or contact lenses
07. I love to play video games.
08. I've tried marijuana.
09. I've watched porn movies.
10. I have been in a threesome.
11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
13. I have acne free skin.
14. I like and respect Al Sharpton.
15. I curse frequently
16. I have changed a lot mentally in the last year.
17. I have a hobby.
18. I've been told I have a nice butt.
19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
20. I'm really, really smart.
21. I've never broken sombody elses bones.
22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal
23. I love rain.
24. I'm paranoid sometimes.
25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar free.-i would get it even if i had to pay and there were risks

26. I need money right now.

27. I love sushi.
28. I talk really, really fast.
29. I have fresh breath in the morning.
30. I have semi-long hair.
31. I have lost money in Las Vegas.
32. I have at least one brother and/or sister.
33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
34. I shave my legs
35. I have a twin.
37. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
38. I like the way that I look
39. I have lied to a good friend in the past 6 months.
40. I know how to do cornrows.
41. I am usually pessimisstic.
42. I have mood swings.
43. I think prostitution should be legalized.
44. I think Britney Spears is pretty.
45. I have cheated on significant other.
46. I have a hidden talent.
47. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
48. I think that I'm popular.
49. I am currently single.
50. I have kissed someone of the same sex.
51. I enjoy talking on the phone.
52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
53. I would rather shop than eat.
55. I would classify myself as ghetto.
56. I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
57. I'm obssessed with my lj.
58. I don't hate anyone.
59. I'm a pretty good (XXXXHARDCOREXXXX ) dancer.
60. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington.
61. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother
62. I have a cell phone.
63. I watch MTV on a daily basis
65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
67. I have never been in a real relationship before.
68. I've rejected someone before
69. I currently have a crush on someone.
70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
71. I want to have children in the future.
72. I have changed a diaper before.
73. I've had the cops called on me before.
74. I bite my nails sometimes.
75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
76. I'm not allergic to anything deadly.
77. I have a lot to learn.
78. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger.
79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie.
80. I am very shy around the opposite sex.
81. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
82. I have at least 5 away messages saved.
83. I have tried alcohol before.
84. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past.
85. I own the "South Park" movie.
86. I have avoided work or assignments to be on <s>xanga</s> or livejournal.
87. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum.
88. I enjoy country music.
89. I love my best friends. I love a lot of people, period.
90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
91. I watch soap operas whenever I can.
92. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist.
93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
95. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story".
96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
97. I watch spongebob and like it!
98. I have dated a close friend's ex.
99. I'm happy as of this moment.
100. I have gone scuba diving.
101. Had a crush on somebody you've never met.
102. Kissed someone you knew you shouldnt.
103. I play a musical instrument.
104. I strongly dislike math.
105. I'm procrastinating something right now.
106. I own and use a library card.
107. I fall in 'lust' more than i fall in 'love'.

108. Cheese enchiladas rock my socks.
109. I think the lord of the rings is one of the best things ever.
110. I'm obsessed with the tv show "Lost".
111. I think Beyblades is the coolest show in coolsville. And I think that tekken is the rockingest game in rockville.
112. There are more things I could be better at if I tried harder.
113. Sometimes I dont like food.
114. I worry sometimes that I'm not being the best friend I could be to the people I care about.
115. I desperately want people to respect me but it rarely happens.
116. I have never been able to say something positive about myself and truly mean it.
117. I am bisexual.
118. I think scottish accents are very attractive.

119. I could spend an entire day on the computer with the occasional potty & food breaks.
120. I think George W. Bush is not only a horrible president, but really annoying as well.
121. I have never been this happy with my life and content in this skin.
122. I have no problem downloading mp3s for free.

123. I adore scarves.
124. I'm a total lit nerd.
125. I have a severe coffee addiction.
126. I like classical music.
127. I have a LiveStrong bracelet
128. There are times when I feel lost and hopeless.
129. I own a credit card.

130. I'm obsessed with horror movies.
131. I love disney.
132. I can be really, really blunt sometimes.
133. I never sleep well unless there's <s>someone of the opposite sex</s>

134. I like to spent time by myself and feel suffocated if I spend too much time in peoples company.
135. If I were rich, I'd like to have the biggest record collection in the world.
136. One day I'd like to own my own record label.
137. I think geeks are the best kind of boy.
138. I watch the O.C and love it.
139. I am so obsessed with music, people can taste it.
140. I have green eyes.
141. I usually don't tell anyone anything.
142. At one point in my life I went to camp and loved it.
143. I've liked someone for more than two years, and been called a 'stalker' or 'obsessed freak'. (wait, have i?)

144. I think half the questions up there were very stupid.
145. I love degrassi and have stuck up for it.
146. I love hugs, from anyone and everyone. most people.
147. I can do 4 backflips in a row on a trampoline. (more like 10)
148. My eyes hurt right now.

149. I have had sex.

150. I have fallen asleep on the phone with someone
151. Rivers Cuomo (sp?), is a genious

152. I wish I dressed like one of the Olsen twins

153. I believe you must go to college to have a sucessful career

154. I regret naming my cat after a Pokemon

155. I have questioned my sexuality

156. I have posters of the opposite sex all over my room

157. I have posters of the same sex all over my room

158. I'd love to have a shopping/mystic-tanning day with Miss Hilton

159. I always do these kinds of surveys and post them on my lj/xanga/etc

160. If given the chance, I'd get married right now

buzz-off _______ i'm taken

2004-12-30T06:00:16Z

if she is so lucky, but why does she cry?
if there is nothing missing in her life why do tears come at night?
but they say, "shes so lucky, shes a star"

<3
paulina

you insist to pull me down.

2004-12-28T06:07:24Z

catalyst.: One that precipitates a process or event, especially without being involved in or changed by the consequences: “A free press... has remained... a vital catalyst to an informed and responsible electorate”

somebody HIT ME

2004-12-17T03:30:22Z

on phone with person i like. listening to my fave song (my coco). watching one of my fave movies (AIWL) and eating my fave kind of animal cr ackers (the "mothers" kind with icing and sprinkles, they are generally white and pink)

wow life can be beautiful if you just try a little bit.

lovrsdontgiveup @ 2004-12-15T20:14:00

2004-12-16T04:13:39Z

boys seem to love me the most on the 15th of the month. Coincidence, hmm.. only Santa, God, and Britney Spears will know. mwah! <3times928093480234 <3

i wanted to believe that all the words i was thinking........

2004-12-14T04:44:45Z

im not beautiful
and i dont mean anything to you
so why do i try and fill up your emptiness with my secrets
when you dont want to hear them because in the end
it just makes you see what you have, what you want, and whats right in front of you
and you hat e it.

lovrsdontgiveup @ 2004-12-05T19:31:00

2004-12-06T03:34:40Z

i havent felt this fuccking sad and disgusting in forever.

if im not online. which i wont be,
assume that i died.

lovrsdontgiveup @ 2004-12-04T17:31:00

2004-12-05T01:31:27Z

I'll say it straight and plain
I know I've made mistakes
I've always been afraid
I've always been afraid

A thousand nights or more
I travelled east and north
Please answer the door

Can you tell me
You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there
When you go, I'll let you be
But you're kill everything in me

Get down on your knees
Whisper what I need
Something pretty
Something pretty

I feel that when I'm old
I'll look at you and know
The world was beautiful

Then you tell me
You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there
When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me

I'm done, there's nothing left to show
Try but I can't let go
Are you happy where you're standing still?
Do you really want the sugar pill?
I'll wake up tomorrow and I'll start
To another, it feels so hard
As a train approaches, getting on
As I'm sure your kiss remains employed
Am I only dreaming?

You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there
When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me

When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me

lovrsdontgiveup @ 2004-11-28T21:32:00

2004-11-29T05:32:51Z

paulina's happy.

you can't ruin it.

love times eighteen.

clark gable would be proud

<3.

lovrsdontgiveup @ 2004-11-26T13:28:00

2004-11-26T21:28:00Z

why is everything such a

FUCKING WASTE

TIME.

</3 ???? GODDAMNIT SAVE THE QUEEN.

ps. my name is lina. bitches.

Perfection is a Mystery

I SEE THE BAD.

yeah it was short.

hard to yell with a *WHAT SHEENA??* in yo' mouth.

i'll never be the same without you.

this is the first day of my life.

i made this one for willa.

if you felt un-informed

lovrsdontgiveup @ 2005-01-26T16:50:00

lovrsdontgiveup @ 2005-01-25T18:14:00

lovrsdontgiveup @ 2005-01-13T17:58:00

lovrsdontgiveup @ 2005-01-12T18:00:00

i hope your balcony falls over into a pool and u drown

lovrsdontgiveup @ 2005-01-01T16:36:00

lovrsdontgiveup @ 2005-01-01T16:36:00

my new shirt says

riders on the storm

buzz-off _______ i'm taken

you insist to pull me down.

somebody HIT ME

lovrsdontgiveup @ 2004-12-15T20:14:00

i wanted to believe that all the words i was thinking........

lovrsdontgiveup @ 2004-12-05T19:31:00

lovrsdontgiveup @ 2004-12-04T17:31:00

lovrsdontgiveup @ 2004-11-28T21:32:00

lovrsdontgiveup @ 2004-11-26T13:28:00

hard to yell with a WHAT SHEENA?? in yo' mouth.